Grrr… Sa lahat ng ayaw ko ay ang mga sakit sa kalingkingan katulad ng ingrown nail. Yun bang sakit na parang pinung-pinong dinudutdot ang iyong laman kaya’t hindi ka mapakali– ayaw mong galawin kasi masakit pero hindi mo matiis kasi nakakainis. Buti nga sana kung ganoon lang pero dahil nga hindi matiis ay siya, kinukutkot, namamaga… Ay naku, kaawa-awa ang daliri ke sa paa man yan o sa kamay. Hindi mo maigalaw, masagi lang eh, iinit agad ang ulo mo at gusto mong manghambalos ng tao.
Ayaw ko talaga sa ingrown nail. Bakit kasi hindi na lang tumubo ng maayos ang kuko at kailangan pa nitong lumiko? Kailangan pang gumastos para ipahila ang kung anumang nakasabit o naibaong kuko kasi kung papabayaan eh baka mabawasan ang fingers or toes ko.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
Adversities
I was really touched by what Chin-Chin Gutierrez said in the show "The Buzz." Her mom passed away after the traumatic burning of her house in Q.C. She said, "…after everything you have is taken from you, after you are left with nothing, you are humbled and ready to be filled again with God’s blessings." I admire her bravery. Only a few can have a positive outlook amidst difficulties.
Adversities break us till we think its pointless to go on, to live. We try to control our lives, we surround ourselves with "safety nets" for any eventualities so we may survive, but still, things do happen which leave us nothing to hold on to. We fall, and when we do, we fall hard. We ask why? Why did it happen? Why me? What have I done? Sometimes, it helps to know why things happen, who is to blame, what is the mistake. But sometimes, digging for answers put us deeper into the pit. The more we cling to the past, the more we think we have lost so much, the hopeless and desperate we feel. Sometimes, it is better to let go of things that passed and move on. Understanding our past does not mean getting attached to it and bring it along as we go on living. If we say that life is a journey, is it not apt to say "travel light?" What ifs, past sorrows and pains are unnecessary baggages which could only burden us.
I admire Chin-Chin Gutierrez. I am not particularly interested in her as an actress or her uncanny belief on supernaturals and aliens hehehe. I have her Uyayi CD though– very nice. I like her courage, her optimism to be able to say that we should not give up on life, no matter how difficult or confusing our circumstances are. God is always with us and will always see us through in each adversity we face. We just have to hold on, believe that life will be better each time we wake up to every morning. Yes, adversities break us. But adversities also make us. To what, it is up to us.
Adversities break us till we think its pointless to go on, to live. We try to control our lives, we surround ourselves with "safety nets" for any eventualities so we may survive, but still, things do happen which leave us nothing to hold on to. We fall, and when we do, we fall hard. We ask why? Why did it happen? Why me? What have I done? Sometimes, it helps to know why things happen, who is to blame, what is the mistake. But sometimes, digging for answers put us deeper into the pit. The more we cling to the past, the more we think we have lost so much, the hopeless and desperate we feel. Sometimes, it is better to let go of things that passed and move on. Understanding our past does not mean getting attached to it and bring it along as we go on living. If we say that life is a journey, is it not apt to say "travel light?" What ifs, past sorrows and pains are unnecessary baggages which could only burden us.
I admire Chin-Chin Gutierrez. I am not particularly interested in her as an actress or her uncanny belief on supernaturals and aliens hehehe. I have her Uyayi CD though– very nice. I like her courage, her optimism to be able to say that we should not give up on life, no matter how difficult or confusing our circumstances are. God is always with us and will always see us through in each adversity we face. We just have to hold on, believe that life will be better each time we wake up to every morning. Yes, adversities break us. But adversities also make us. To what, it is up to us.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Eh kasi kuya
That new mcdo ad really hit me hard. Rad, my 6 year old son is accusing me of being unfair for making him share his toys to his younger siblings and still be kind to them even if they tend to hit, smack or kick him every now and then. These two younger siblings, Max (2 years) and Aye (3 years) do have a bad habit of wanting the things being held or played by their kuya. Just like in the ad, they try to get these toys from Rad and the latter would of course, protest. To avoid a screaming session, I talk to Rad to let his brother or sister "borrow" his toys. I tell him, "pahiram mo na, kuya ka eh. Mas matanda sa kanila,mas nakakaintindi ka." He would always give-in though he’s not really happy with the deal. Lately, I notice that he would avoid his two younger siblings and if he plays, he plays by himself. He tries to hide the toys he’s playing with and he keeps his fave toys in "safe places"– far from the eyes and reach of aye and max. He’s also been telling me that I favor those two and that I don’t love him anymore.
That is heartbreaking to hear. And I feel very guilty.
Its difficult to give equal attention and affection to children even if we say we love each one. No one is capable of equality, afterall, unless you attach numerical or quantifiable values to time and emotion which you can compute and allocate to each child. As Ive always said, being a mom is hard enough and being a good one is really an "extra challenge" to a woman. I’ve been going through self help books and all the materials which we published in the NGO Ive previously worked with but still, in actuality, its difficult to apply all the things we already know and have previously learned. Its daunting when you are confronted with situations which leave you clueless and the ones you love say things that may seem nothing at first then realize, its everything they feel and think about themselves, and about you.
Maybe I have been unfair to my son by forcing him to be understanding of his younger siblings. And I am guilty of giving more time to my younger children for they seem to need more personal care. I forgot that my older kids are old enough to feel insecurity and jealousy and old enough to attach meanings to simple gestures. Rad also needs me, to feel not only know, that I love and value him.
If only giving him treats could end this drama just like in the ad. But it wont, actually. I would just end up broke.
Maybe I should revise my strategy. Giving similar toys have not been effective– the toy held by the other seem to be better than what was given even if its exactly the same. Its infuriating but thats how kids are. Telling them to play together does not do the trick for they would always fight over one toy.
Haaayyyy. Its really unfair to allow the babies to abuse older kids but what can we parents do? We can’t just detain them in one corner, can’t even scold them because they would just cry then do the same deed again. If you say "no" to max, he’ll just smile at you and continue with what he’s doing. So when it comes to issues like this, I am more inclined to talking to my older kids since they can already understand. Its unfair but what choice do I have?
Maybe I just need to hug and kiss rad more, talk to him and play with him more. Maybe I would just give him that mcdo/jolibee/turo-turo treat just like in the ad just to make him feel he’s also special. I don’t want him to feel unloved or be jealous of his siblings. Maybe I should ask him more of what he wants and actually give it to him. Maybe by doing this, he’ll know I value him, his thoughts, his choices. Maybe I should ask him to decide, to participate, to help me.
If you have other brilliant ideas, oh please, enlighten me.
That is heartbreaking to hear. And I feel very guilty.
Its difficult to give equal attention and affection to children even if we say we love each one. No one is capable of equality, afterall, unless you attach numerical or quantifiable values to time and emotion which you can compute and allocate to each child. As Ive always said, being a mom is hard enough and being a good one is really an "extra challenge" to a woman. I’ve been going through self help books and all the materials which we published in the NGO Ive previously worked with but still, in actuality, its difficult to apply all the things we already know and have previously learned. Its daunting when you are confronted with situations which leave you clueless and the ones you love say things that may seem nothing at first then realize, its everything they feel and think about themselves, and about you.
Maybe I have been unfair to my son by forcing him to be understanding of his younger siblings. And I am guilty of giving more time to my younger children for they seem to need more personal care. I forgot that my older kids are old enough to feel insecurity and jealousy and old enough to attach meanings to simple gestures. Rad also needs me, to feel not only know, that I love and value him.
If only giving him treats could end this drama just like in the ad. But it wont, actually. I would just end up broke.
Maybe I should revise my strategy. Giving similar toys have not been effective– the toy held by the other seem to be better than what was given even if its exactly the same. Its infuriating but thats how kids are. Telling them to play together does not do the trick for they would always fight over one toy.
Haaayyyy. Its really unfair to allow the babies to abuse older kids but what can we parents do? We can’t just detain them in one corner, can’t even scold them because they would just cry then do the same deed again. If you say "no" to max, he’ll just smile at you and continue with what he’s doing. So when it comes to issues like this, I am more inclined to talking to my older kids since they can already understand. Its unfair but what choice do I have?
Maybe I just need to hug and kiss rad more, talk to him and play with him more. Maybe I would just give him that mcdo/jolibee/turo-turo treat just like in the ad just to make him feel he’s also special. I don’t want him to feel unloved or be jealous of his siblings. Maybe I should ask him more of what he wants and actually give it to him. Maybe by doing this, he’ll know I value him, his thoughts, his choices. Maybe I should ask him to decide, to participate, to help me.
If you have other brilliant ideas, oh please, enlighten me.
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