singko nga bulan

Yuan @ 5 months
feisty little tyke
demanding, slave driver
outrageous flirt
smart and happy baby

When I grow up...

Ima: doctor, lawyer, singer
Rad: engineer, artist
Aye: Doctor, Actress
Max: Police, Janitor, Garbage Collector

Whew... Ano kaya ambition nila next month?

Patience

I must admit, patience is my weakest point. My temper gets out of hand particularly if I get peeved right on the spot--how to describe it? Well I can get helluva crazy and be real mean. When I was younger, my dad told me I could throw tantrums which could make the dogs hide their tails. I know. I was bad. And still am.

But Im older now. Ok. Waaayy older. And Im already a parent. And patience is still a test I most often than not fail miserably at. Its not really a virtue-- patience is more like a skill that can be mastered through practice. And that's what Im doing. Trying again and again to get a grip and hold my trap.

Unwritten

Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten

I am unwritten, Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

Oh, oh I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
the rest still unwritten

(Gospel)
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open *
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Baby On Board!

I thought I'll see Yuan on the fourth of July. I told my officemates on my last day that I should change her name to "Independencia" only she'll kill me when she grows old enough. My cervix had already dilated to 2cms, only I had to be treated for infections so I was advised to just take things easy. But the past days, the baby seemed to feel heavier and I felt more pressure on my lower back and midsection.

I started to bleed Sunday morning and around lunch, the contractions became quite regular-- not too close yet or painful but persistent. Mon and I decided to delay going to the hospital later that day though we already informed my OB, Dr. Garcia. I had to finish my PA anyway so its ok. After submitting my report later in the afternoon, the contractions seemed to have slackened so I helped my husband fix our drain. Imagine, me, full term pregnant, on the beginnings of full labor, holding a spade and digging infront of our house... Well Im not the "usual" pregnant woman. I can even carry 5 kilos of rice + 4 grocery bags. The peeps at PST described me as "kalabaw" because of my energy. Heck, Im just pregnant and that shouldn't incapacitate me. I should be exercising anyway. I prepared dinner, nagged the kids to eat, wash-up and go to bed. I thought I was cool, I even chatted with some friends @ facebook. ;p

Around 11, the contractions started coming in earnest. Strong, long and regular contractions. Told my husband that we should go to the hospital just in case the contractions get too unbearable. And whoah, never seen Mon get so disoriented and nervous! In my last four pregnancies, He was the epitome of control, he can even put on socks and organize things while Im huffing and puffing. This time, its just so funny, he was like a first time dad, anxious but very,very excited.

We were at Capitol Medical Center around 11:45. My cervix was only 2 cms dilated but the contractions were strong and regular--5 minute intervals. I was aslo bleeding so I stayed. Around 2 am, July 5, Dr. Garcia arrived and ouch, gave me an IE. Still 2 cms. She considered for a moment sending me home but I was bleeding and live so far, she gave admitting orders. She told me that since the contractions came in regular intervals, my cervix might dilate more later. They gave me the usual pre-birth procedures and hooked me up to IVs. Man, those needles they stick to your veins were really painful!

I woke up around 8 am to someone screaming. The girl 2 beds from me was being wheeled to the delivery room. "Kakainggit." I was getting bored puffing in bed and having so many IEs I lost count. I was still only 2 cms dilated. The residents took turns monitoring the contractions and I didn't know it was that tedious-- they place their hands over my big tummy, feel for the tightening of the muscles and log the time and legth of the contractions. They even note if I show signs of pain like moaning, puffing, labored breathing, etc. The contractions were still strong and regular but my cervix did not mind. My back was really sore and my hips felt worse. I slept and woke up in the afternoon. I was still 2 cms dilated. I was sent back to my room. At least, there's cable television and I can eat! Mon gave me a wonderful backrub.

The next day,Tuesday, around lunch, I was wheeled back to the delivery room. I had to do again all the pre-birth procedures (which meant double charges on my hospital bill!). They gave me 3 shots of buscopan and hooked me up to Cynto--something. I guess that would induce the labor. The contractions I was having were already strong and made me quite uncomfortable but after a few hours, whew, they became painful. Around 6 pm, I was actually moaning from the pain and I thought I'll be giving birth finally. But when they gave me an IE, still 2 cms! No change whatsoever. I was really frustrated. I wanted the pain to go away, be done with birthing and go home. I already miss my 4 other kids and I just felt so tired. I started to cry. They thought I was in great pain, they told me they'll give me sedatives to reduce the pain. However, the resident who injected demerol in my IV may be a newbie, she injected it fast that I screamed at her "ansaket naman niyan!" I started to feel groggy.. I also felt a tigtening in my chest, like having a heavy object there, I had difficulty breathing. Told the residents "mabigat dibdib ko.. di ako makahinga" Then I passed out.

I woke up around 9 pm. Dr. Garcia was with me. She told me that they stopped the cynto and had to monitor me one full night before doing the trial again. She told me to rest and that she'll see me in the morning.

The next day, Wednesday, my whole body felt sore. I also had so much water that I asked to be assisted to the CR to pee. Since my "bag" was still intact ( I was only bleeding lang naman), I can still walk. They gave me light breakfast and lunch. The baby seemed to sense that she was being forced out. She was very active that morning. She kept kicking my insides and it felt like my ribs and entrails were swollen from her thumping. Around 1 pm, Dr. Garcia arrived. She said, "eto na, pakiramdam ko manganganak ka na!" I was still 2 cms dilated. I was again hooked to cynto, given I think, 4-5 shots of buscopan. Two residents monitored the contractions and the baby's heartbeat and movements. They were on the watch for baby stress since I've been on labor far too long. Around 6 pm, I was really moaning. Each contraction was like being gutted alive. Dr. Fernandez, the anaesthesiologist arrived. She asked me if "masaket na raw ba" told her yes. "Hindi pa naman sobrang tigas ng tiyan mo ah." If I was only alert, I could have snapped off her head. Dr. Garcia arrived and gave me an IE. "3-4 cms! FINALLY! Ketagal-tagal na progession yan oh! Bibiyakin ko na ha?" She gave me one painful IE to burst the amniotic bag and was really crying from the pain. "O, wina-warn na kita ha, sasakit na talaga ito." She advised the residents to give her a call if Im "ready"--she'll just have dinner. Haayy.

After one hour from having the amniotic fluid out-- the contractions were in full swing. Long, strong but kinda bearable still. Later, I started to moan and puff. The intervals were starting to get close and my back, hips and pelvis felt very sore. Around 10 pm, I was already crying and begging for meds. "ang sakit-sakit na, parang awa niyo na, i-CS niyo na ako... please..." If my cervix almost did not dilate the days before, the progression since "bursting the bag" was really fast. I was 7-8 cms around 10 pm. And I was already "pushing" something out, like being constipated. I found out that if I breathe through my mouth, then hold it then push, the pain was somehow reduced. I was crying and screaming in between the puffing and pushing and Dr. Garcia who was used to my reaction, being my OB in all my pregnancies, just told me again and again "malapit na." I also heard her saying to everyone in the room, "ganito talaga itong manganak.. Wala pa nga ito eh.. Hintayin niyo maya-maya ang kamandag niya." I was senseless from the pain though a teeny-weeny part of my brain wanted to throttle Doc Garcia.

When they wheeled me to the delivery room, I was crazed from the pain. I was sobbing, begging, moaning and screaming. I was really noisy and I heard one resident say "nato-trauma na ibang pasyente sa isang ito." I didn't care. The pain took over and it drove me insane. When they raised my legs in the stirrup, 2 consecutive strong contractions hit me and I must have shouted my lungs out. Good thing Mon was in our room, he could have died from shame. The anaesthesiologist scolded, "hindi naman masakit eh." I was tired, in pain, I snapped. I screamed, "ANONG HINDI MASAKET? ANGSAKET-SAKET!" Everyone laughed. I was furious. Then there was this very strong and long contraction, I just took a very deep breath then pushed and pushed. I heard the people around me "Ayan na, ayan na! Mommy hintay muna, wait lang, hold muna." Thats crazy, I thought! Its there already! Why should I stop? Everyone was telling me to hold it I screamed "BAKET BA? ANONG PROBLEMA NIYO! ANDIYAN NA!!!!!!!" Doc Garcia laughed and told everyone, "Oo nga naman, bakit ba.. mas marunong pa kayo sa kanya?" I was really peeved, I gave one loud moan, inhaled and pushed.. And I passed out.

I woke up, 5 am, Thursday in the recovery room. A gave a silent prayer of Thanks to God for surviving the difficult labor and being gifted another child, another chance to love and nurture a human being in this life. A few minutes after, I was wheeled to our room.

2 pm in the afternoon, I was able to change clothes, wash-up. Doc Garcia, the residents and Doc Fernandez, the anaesthesiologist made their usual rounds and teased me about the crazy delivery. "O, nakakangiti ka na. E di pinatikim mo lahat ng lagim mo?" I was really very embarrassed, I kept saying sorry to everyone.

They roomed in Yuan a few hours after.

Finally, Alhamdullilah! I have her in my arms!

Punta Fuego

Punta Fuego

Punta fuego

Punta fuego

Branders Getaway: Punta Fuego

MArriage-Half of your Faith

I just want to share this article written by Tariq Ramadan about marriage.

=======================================================================

Half of Your Faith
Monday 22 August 2005, by Tariq Ramadan
Source: http://www.tariqramadan.com/spip.php?article400


How many men and women prepare themselves to live as a couple, as a family?

Some think about it, others are already committed to it. We hear of stories... and one is sometimes moved by the expectations and hopes of some, and sometimes saddened by the painful life experiences of others. Perhaps you are also, sisters and brothers, preparing yourselves to engage in this life experience of marriage, known as half of your faith. Or perhaps you have already started sharing your life with someone. In this, your expectations, thank God, were more than met but sometimes doubts have emerged. This... is not what you had expected.

Brothers and sisters, nothing should be idealized.

The perfect husband or the perfect wife only exists in your dreams. God has given you, as He has given others, noble qualities and intelligence. God has given you, as He has given others, faults and deficiencies. Perfection is not given to you or any human being.

It is not enough to share the same faith, the same principles and the same hopes to make an ideal couple. How many young couples have been under the illusion that their future life will be harmonious as if being Muslim was enough for a successful marriage? As if their union was based solely on the meeting of two worlds founded on the same principles that one respects or on the rules which one applies.

This illusion, which yesterday promised a small earthly paradise, today makes life a difficult struggle How many speak about "the principles of marriage in Islam" and actually live the reality of a torn, ravaged and frustrated existence?

Today, more than ever, living as a married couple has become a real challenge. Around us, men and women meet and leave each other in a modern society in which they confuse freedom and the absence of accountability as love and flexibility.

Living as a couple is not without its challenges - preparing yourself, learning and constantly trying to reach out to the other with patience, depth and tenderness. Although it is true that the principles of Islam bring you together, or will bring you together, you must remember each day that the person with whom you share your life comes with his or her own history, wounds, sensitivities and hopes. Learn to listen, to understand, to observe, to accompany.

Living as a couple is the greatest of tests: a test of patience, of attention, of the ability to listen for unspoken words, of self-control, of mending one’s faults, of healing the wounds. In each of these tests, there are two parties. It isn’t easy. A meaningful effort has to be grounded in the deepest sense of spirituality, a jihad, in the most intense meaning of the term. The jihad of love which reminds that feelings have to be taken care of. They are maintained, deepened, rooted through your shared challenges and your patience

Patience and attention to the hearts, in a couple, will lead them towards the light, God willing. Remember, brothers and sisters, the last of the Prophets (peace be on him), an example for eternity, so attentive, so tender, and so patient. He did not only remind the Umma of principles, he enlightened with his presence, his listening, and his love.

Before being the mother of his children, his wife was a woman, his spouse, a person he discovered each day, a person whom he accompanied and who accompanied him; subject of his attention, a testimony of his love. He knew the meaning of silence, the power of a touch, the complicity of a shared glance, the pleasure in a smile, and the kindness found in being attentive.

There are those who idealize the other so much they never really see their partners and those who leave each other too quickly without taking the time to know each other. We are reminded of the principles Islam, its depth, its spirituality, its essence. Living as a couple, forming a relationship, being patient in adversity, loving to the extent of enduring, grounding by way of reforming is an initiation to spirituality. Knowing how to be one with God assures greater comfort in being together as two. A challenge, a test, far from the ideal, close to reality.

Sisters and brothers, you must prepare yourselves to live one of the most beautiful tests of life. It requires all from you, your heart, your conscience, and your efforts. The road is long. One must learn to demand, to share, and to forgive...indefinitely.

Of the things permitted by God, divorce is the most detested. Living as a couple is difficult: remember that your wife is woman before being the mother of your children; remember that your husband is a man before being the father of your children. Know how to live as a couple, within your family...in front of God and in front of your children.

This meeting place, these efforts will result in a sense of protection: They are your garments and you are their garments. Know how to be patient, learn how to be affectionate, offer forgiveness, and you will attain the spirituality of the protected, the proximity of the ones that are close. Faith then becomes your source of light and "his or her" presence, becomes your source of protection; the test of your heart, the energy of your love, half of your faith.

I pray to God that this love be the school of your efforts and the light of your patience.

Unveiling Facts

My husband just did a blog-in about this. Actually, so much has been written and said about the issue of "covering the head" by Muslim women yet it remains unclear and such a sensitive subject to many. I have been asked by friends, colleagues about it and out of curiousity maybe, asked why I don't practice it. I always tell them that I do not believe that it is necessary or even required. It is just cultural practice, nothing more. Its not even a "woman" issue, it is something that I strongly feel as doing what is right. Of course, Muslims are required to verify claims before accepting them as true. The Quran is complete in itself and provides answers to all questions of the believers. No "cross-referencing" as researchers may term it, needed here. All you need to know is in the Quran.And the Quran does not require women to cover their head and faces. They are required to cover their bosoms (Quran 24:31) and to lengthen their garments (Quran 33:59).

I just want to share a blog about the veil written by Queen Rania of Jordan. She gives deep insight, but I encourage you to verify information for yourself. You learn, you understand then decide to believe. Only God Guides.

===========================

Link: http://www.free-minds.org/rania

Taken from the site: www.Arabtimes.com

Subj: A Message from Her Majesty
Date: 12/11/01 5:22:26 PM Central Standard Time
From: (Her Majesty Queen Rania)
To: arabtimes@aol.com

Royal Hashemite Court. Legal notice:

By publishing this Email you (ArabTimes) agrees to not use this Email to:

- post or publish Queen Rania Al- Abdullah Email Address
- Sell, resell or exploit any portion of the Email, without the permission of the Royal Hashemite Court.


A Message from Her Majesty Queen Rania to Arab Times:

God, the Most Gracious, Most Merciful, insists on making His religion easy, practical and enjoyable for His true believers. God also told us that those who reject Him or His books are making life miserable for themselves and for their loved ones who follow in their footsteps.
He reminds us in the Quran that He has placed no hardship on us in practicing our religion (see Quran 22:78)
God established also several rules in His book, the Quran, for His TRUE believers. Breaking any of His rules or refusing any of them means loss, misguidance, misery and eternal suffering.

To understand a topic like the DRESS CODE for Muslim Women, we need to review quickly some of these rules established by our Creator, God Almighty, to whom we will be responsible for our deeds. Every rule is important and every rule is meant to be.

(1) The Quran is a complete book, See Quran 6:19,38,114, 115, 12:111 and 50:45.

Remember that when God says that His book is complete, it means 100% complete.

(2) The Quran is perfect; no mistakes, no falsehood, no nonsense. See Quran 41:42,12:40, 30:30, 30:43 and 98:5

(3) The Quran is detailed, and when God says He detailed His book it means FULLY detailed. God does not do half jobs. See Quran 6:114, 7:52, 11:1, 41:3, 10:37 and 12:111

(4) God does not need any addition to His book. God teaches us in the Quran that He does not run out of words and that if He so willed He could have given us hundreds, thousands or millions of books besides the Quran (see Quran 18:109). Since the Quran is complete, perfect and fully detailed, God did not give us any more books.

(5) God calls His book, the Quran, the BEST HADITH. HE called on His true believers to accept no other hadiths as a source of this perfect religion .
See Quran 7:185, 31:6, 39:23, 45:6, and 77:50.

(6) God calls on His true believers to make sure not to fall in the trap of idol-worship by following the words of the scholars instead of the words of God. See Quran 9:31

(7) God calls those who prohibit what He did not prohibit, aggressors, liars and idol-worshipers. Idol-worship is the only unforgivable sin, if maintained till death. See Quran 5:87, 9:37, 7:32, 6:119, 6:140 and 10:59.

(8) Muhammed is represented only by the Quran. The Prophet Muhammed was the last Prophet and a messenger of God (See Quran 33:40). He was not the messenger of God because of who he (Muhammed) was, but because he was given the Quran (the message) to deliver to the world. The religion of Islam is a religion of God, not about Muhammed, who was blessed by God with the delivery of the message of the Quran. He did not have an agenda of his own. His job was to deliver to the world what God was giving him, the Quran. See Quran 42:48, 13:40, 5:99-100
Muhammed cannot prohibit things, or make lawful things on his own. When he tried to do that God admonished him publicly, see Quran 66:1

66:1 reminds us that God is the only ONE to prohibit or make things lawful. NO ONE can attribute to Muhammed a prohibition that God did not give him in the Quran. Anyone who tries to do so is admitting his/her refusal of God's words and commandments in the Quran.

(9) The TRUE believers KNOW that when God says something, He means it, and when He does not, he means it as well. Everything given to us in the Quran was done deliberately and everything left out was also left out deliberately.

God does not forget. See Quran 19:64. We are not to add to this religion what God deliberately left out and claim it to be from Him or His messenger. His messenger has only ONE message, the Quran. God already told us He does not run out of words. See Quran 18:109

(10) God does not need us to improve on His book, the Quran, but we very much need Him for every aspect of our lives. Those who think they have some improvement on the Quran are but asking for recognition of their idols as gods besides the ONE and ONLY GOD.

(11) God calls on His TRUE believers to verify every piece of information they see, hear or read, see Quran 17:36.
So, Please VERIFY for yourself.



THREE RULES FOR WOMEN DRESS CODE IN ISLAM

FIRST RULE: THE BEST GARMENT

See Quran[7:26]
This is the BASIC rule of DRESS CODE in the Quran. This is the first rule in WOMEN DRESS CODE in Islam.


SECOND RULE: COVER YOUR BOSOMS

The second rule can be found in Quran 24:31. Here God orders the women to cover their bosoms whenever they dress up. But before quoting 24:31 let us review some crucial words that are always mentioned with this topic, namely "Hijab" and "Khimar"

THE WORD "HIJAB" in the QURAN "Hijab" is the term used by many Muslims women to describe their head cover that may or may not include covering their face except their eyes, and sometimes covering also one eye. The Arabic word "Hijab" can be translated into veil or yashmak. Other meanings for the word "Hijab" include, screen, cover (ing), mantle, curtain, drapes, partition, division, divider.
Can we find the word "Hijab" in the Quran??
The word "Hijab" appeared in the Quran 7 times, five of them as "Hijab" and two times as "Hijaban,". See Quran 7:46, 33:53, 38:32, 41:5, 42:51, 17:45 and 19:17.
None of these "Hijab" words are used in the Quran in reference to what the traditional Muslims call today (Hijab) as a dress code for the Muslim woman.

God knows that generations after Muhammed's death the Muslims will use the word "Hijab" to invent a dress code that He never authorized. God used the word "Hijab" ahead of them just as He used the word "Hadith" ahead of them. Hijab in the Quran has nothing to do with the Muslim Women dress code.



HISTORICAL BACKGROUND:

While many Muslims call "Hijab", an Islamic dress code, they completely ignore the fact that, Hijab as a dress code has nothing to do with Islam and nothing to do with QURAN.
"Hijab" or veil can be traced back to early civilizations. It can be found in early and late Roman and Greek art. The evidence can be seen in archeological discoveries whether in pottery fragments, paintings or recorded civil laws.
In Greco-Roman culture, both women and men wore head covering in religious contexts. The tradition of wearing the veil (by women) and the headcover (by men) was then adopted by the Jews who wrote it in the Talmud then the Christians adopted the same. A well respected Rabbi once explained to a group of Jewish young women, "We do not find a direct command in the Torah mandating that women cover their heads, but we do know that this has been the continuing custom for thousands of years." After the prophet Muhammad's death , the writers of the hadith books adopted and encouraged the ancient tradition of head covering. Hadith book' writers took after the Jews as they did with many other traditions , and alleged them to the prophet since the Quran did not command it.
Any student of the Jewish traditions or religious books will see that head cover for the Jewish woman (and men) has been encouraged by the Rabbis and religious leaders. Observant Jewish women still cover their heads most of the time and specially in the synagogues, weddings, and religious festivities.

Christian women cover their heads in many religious occasions while the nuns cover their heads all the time. As we can expect the traditional Arabs, of all religions, Jews, Christians and Muslims used to wear head cover, or "Hijab," not because of Islam, but because of tradition. In Saudi Arabia, up to this day most of the men cover their heads , not because of Islam but because of tradition. North Africa is known for its Tribe (Tuareg) that have the Muslim men wearing "Hijab" instead of women. Here the tradition has the hijab in reverse. If wearing Hijab is the sign of the pious and righteous Muslim woman, Mother Teresa would have been the first woman to be counted.

In brief, hijab is a traditional dress and has nothing to do with Islam or religion. In certain areas of the world, men are the ones who wear the hijab while in others the women do. Mixing religion with tradition is a form of idolworship, since the followers of traditions are following laws from sources other than God's scriptures and claim it to be from God. Idolworship is the only unforgivable sin if maintained till death.
Ignoring what God asks you to do in His book, or following innovated laws not stated in the the Quran, is a clear sign of disregarding God and His message.
When tradition supersedes God's commandment, the true religion takes a second place. God never accepts to be second, God has to be always the FIRST and to HIM there is no second.



THE WORD "KHIMAR" in the QURAN:

"Khimar" is an Arabic word that can be found in the Quran in 24:31 While the first basic rule of Dress Code for the Muslim Women can be found in Quran 7:26, the second rule of the DRESS CODE FOR WOMEN can be found in Quran 24:31.
Some Muslims quote verse 31 of sura 24 as containing the Hijab, or head cover, by pointing to the word, khomoorehenna, (from Khimar), forgetting that God already used the word Hijab, several times in the Quran. Those blessed by God can see that the use of the word "Khimar" in this verse is not for "Hijab" or for head cover. Those who quote this verse usually add (Head cover) after the word Khomoorehenna, and usually between ( ), because it is their addition to the verse not God's. See Quran 24:31

"Khimar" is an Arabic word that means, cover, any cover, a curtain is a Khimar, a dress is a Khimar, a table cloth that covers the top of a table is a Khimar, a blanket can be used as a Khimar..etc. The word KHAMRA used for intoxicant in Arabic has the same root with Khimar, because both covers, the Khimar covers (a window, a body, a table . . . etc.) while KHAMRA covers the state of mind.

In Quran 24:31 God is asking the women to use their cover (khimar)( being a dress, a coat, a shawl, a shirt, a blouse, a tie, a scarf . . . etc.) to cover their bosoms, not their heads or their hairs. If God so willed to order the women to cover their heads or their hair, nothing would have prevented Him from doing so. GOD does not run out of words. GOD does not forget. God did not order the women to cover their heads or their hair.

God does not wait for a Scholar to put the correct words for Him!

The Arabic word for CHEST, GAYB is in the verse (24:31), but the Arabic words for HEAD, (RAAS) or HAIR, (SHAAR) are NOT in the verse. The commandment in the verse is clear - COVER YOUR CHEST OR BOSOMS.

The last part of the verse (24:31) show us that the details of the body can be revealed or not revealed by the dress you wear, not by your head cover.

Notice also the expression in 24:31,

This expression may sound vague to many because they have not understood the mercy of God. Again God here used this very general term to give us the freedom to decide according to our own circumstances the definition of "What is necessary".

It is not up to a scholar or to any particular person to define this term. God wants to leave it personal for every woman and no one can take it away from her. Women who follow the basic rule number one i.e. righteousness, will have no problem making the right decision to reveal only which is necessary.



THIRD RULE : LENGTHEN YOUR GARMENTS

The first regulation of DRESS CODE for Muslim women is in Quran 7:26, the second is in Quran 24:31 and the third is in Quran 33:59

In Quran 33:59, God sets the other regulation for the dress code for the Muslim women during the prophet's life.

Although the verse is talking to the prophet which means this regulation applies to the time of the prophet, just like the order in Quran 49:2, the description fits the spirit of Islam, and can teach us a great deal.

If you reflect on this verse and how God ordered the prophet to tell his wives, his daughters and the wives of the believers to lengthen their garments, you would understand the great wisdom of the MOST WISE, the MOST MERCIFUL. In this verse, God, DELIBERATELY, (and all the TRUE believers know that everything GOD says, does, or did is DELIBERATE) said, tell them, to lengthen their garments, and never said how long is long. God could have said tell them to lengthen their garments to their ankles or to their mid-calf or to their knees, but HE DID NOT. He did not, OUT OF HIS MERCY, not because HE FORGOT as God does not forget. God knows that we will be living in different communities and have different cultures and insists that the minor details of this dress code will be left for the people of every community to hammer for themselves.

It is clear from the above verses that the DRESS CODE for the Muslim women according to the Quran is righteousness and modesty. God knows that this modesty will be understood differently in different communities and that is why He left it open to us to decide for ourselves. Decide, after righteousness what is modesty. Modesty for a woman who lives in New York may not be accepted by a woman who lives in Cairo Egypt. Modesty of a woman who lives in Cairo, Egypt may not be accepted by a woman who lives in Saudi Arabia.

Modesty of a woman who lives in Jidda in Saudi Arabia may not be accepted by a woman who lives in a desert oasis in the same country. This difference in the way we perceive modesty is well known to God, He created us, and He put NO hardship on us in this great religion. He left it to us to decide what modesty would be. For any person, knowledgeable or not to draw a line and make conclusion for God about the definition of modesty is to admit that he/she knows better than God.

God left it open for us and no-one has the authority to restrict it, it has to stay open.

The word "zeenatahunna" in this verse refers to the woman's body parts (beauty) that can be exaggerated by the movement of the body while walking and not to the artificial ornaments and decorations as some people interpret it or translate it. At the end of the verse, God told the women not to strike with their feet to show their "zeenatahunna." Striking the feet while walking can emphasize , exaggerate or shake certain parts of the body that do not need to be emphasized. It is important to remember that striking the feet while walking does not have this effect on the head, hair or face, they are not part of what God calls in this verse the hidden zeena.

Accepting orders from anybody but God, means idol-worship. That is how serious the matter of Hijab/khimar is. Women who wear Hijab because of tradition or because they like it for personal reasons commit no sin, as long as they know that it is not part of this perfect religion. Those who are wearing it because they think God ordered it are committing Idol-worship, as God did not order it, the scholars did. These women have found for themselves another god than the One who revealed the Quran, complete, perfect and FULLY detailed to tell them they have to cover their heads to be Muslims.

Idol-worship is the only unforgivable sin, if maintained till death, See Quran 4:48.



RELAXING THE DRESS CODE:

In the family setting, God put no hardship on the women, and permitted them to relax their dress code. If you reflect on the verses, Quran 33:35 and Quran 24:60, you will see that God did not give details of what this relaxation is, because every situation is different.

A woman may relax her dress code in front of the four-year-old son of her brother but not as much in front of the 16 year old son. I think i have the right to relax in front of my own family.



DRESS CODE FOR THE MOSQUES (MASJIDS):

See Quran 7:31



HARDSHIP IN THIS RELIGION:

God, the MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL decided that those who will reject His complete book and go look for other sources for guidance will suffer in this life and in the HEREAFTER by their choice. God never put any hardship on the believers, but the scholars did, they invented their own laws in defiance of God, to regulate everything from the side of bed you sleep on, to which foot should step in the house, to what to do with a fly in your soup, to what to say when having intercourse with your spouse.

Those who believe God and believe that His book is COMPLETE, PERFECT AND FULLY DETAILED, will have everything easy for them as God promised, See Quran 10:62- 64, 16:97 while those who could not believe God and have been seeking other sources than the Quran will have all the hardship of this life and the life to come. In the Hereafter they will complain to God, "we were not idol- worshipers," but God knows best, He knows they were See Quran 6:22-24

Watching them Grow

I have four kids. two boys and two girls-- 9, 8 6 and 5 years old. I know, I know. I've been teased about it by friends and family-- that I am such a fertile sow. At one point, I was rather embarrased and get very defensive when people comment on my so called "productivity". But later on, I stopped minding. I am even actually proud of it. Yeah. Who cares what other people think? So what if I have more kids, so what if Im on my way to making my own basketball team?

Looking at my brood, I think about the miracle of having them. The magic of realizing life is in my womb, to the painful laboring of bring them to the world. Its been so long yet the memories still remain fresh in my mind. Every child is different, each one special. And each child is a diffrent experience altogether. Precious. I thank God that I am four times blessed and I pray everyday that I will be given the strength, courage and patience to be always kind and loving to them. Mind you, raising four kids ain't that easy. Its like living in a warzone everyday, every minute. My kids are bigger now and each one has a personality to match mine. I love them so much but dealing with their energy and demands really tests my strength and patience. They are strong enough to trigger negotiations and even shouting matches. Crazy, noisy, even a big pain at times but I love them anyway. Being a parent is a real tough job but I love it more than anything. Precious.

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.


----by Pablo Neruda

So what

“You are such a meddler”

I am not. I am just concerned with things happening around me.

“People like you complicate things. Too many of you who think they know so much”

Oh no.. I do not know everything–there's still so much I have to learn and understand. I don't pretend. Why should I? I’ll just make an idiot of myself of which Im surely not. There are too many idiots roaming around already.

There are things I do know… And there are things I believe in. I talk not for the sake of just saying something but to make sense and reach out to those willing to listen.

And me a meddler? Maybe. I can’t just sit in one corner when I know excesses are done by so many. I cannot forever hide while reality is screaming in my face.
I am not a genius and you don’t have to be one to know right from wrong.
If you don't get me. That's not my fault.

“You just want to put unnecessary attention to yourself.”

I don’t care care. And I don’t have to explain myself to people like you.

Confusion

“Are you happy”

I think so…

” Are you sure?”

Really…

“You don’t look like it. You smile but your eyes are so sad….”

I don’t know.